“Sex is the ultimate fulfillment and fun in life.”
It doesn’t take more than a few minutes of watching TV, or really doing most anything in our culture, to realize that sex has become a god. While the discussion of our infatuation with sex is nothing new, the debates on the effects it is having on our lives are often only focused on correction and not redemption. What I mean by that is that so often those who are concerned with our over-sexualization just want it to stop; put restriction on advertisers, have more strict enforcements of where things can be viewed, and not lose ourselves in the glamorization of sex. While I believe all those things are good corrections, the sad truth is that if rules are the extent of the attempt to change the sexual hype, we will fall far short of accomplishing what is truly desired. This is why we need to redeem sex. One of the ways we can begin to redeem sex is by helping people realize that the very desires of sex, and the loud promoting of sex as our ultimate goal, actually reveals a deeper truth placed inside each one of us.
Let me explain what that deeper truth is:
If sex is the ultimate feeling, euphoria, and fulfillment, it would seem that a sexual encounter that has been dreamed about for days or even years would satisfy us more than it does. Like any desired object, there is only a momentary relief of want, followed by a desire for that very thing again. Does this not say something as to how we are created? I recently read a business book that stated, “Your systems are designed perfectly to get the results you are getting.” Why is our system so perfectly designed for fulfillment, yet we always find ourselves longing for something more? Naturalists would say something about carrying on our species, and passing on our genes. If that were the case wouldn’t people like me, with four kids, or those with twenty kids, be less drawn to things like sex? I believe a purely naturalist perspective falls short of providing us a solid answer. See, our never-ending “want for more” is not just a physical statement, it is a spiritual one. The tension of unrelieved desires reveals something about the core of how we were created.
If our system was made to get the results it is getting, the question becomes, “For what were we created?” If we look at our culture the message is clear- “Have sex, lots of sex, with whoever you want, as much as you can, more, more, more... (you get the point)” But if that is what we were created for, why is it that the satisfaction of sex is only temporary? I think C.S. Lewis, in his amazing simplicity, answers this question perfectly, “If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” In our current culture his words may have even been more specific, “If I buy into the idea that sex is the ultimate route to satisfaction, and I find that all my sexual encounters inevitably leave me wanting more, the only logical explanation is that there IS something more.” Of course, this statement can flow into all areas of our lives as the same tension holds true in all of our strivings here on earth, but I wanted to address it in light of our current culture’s promise of what sex will provide.
When we finally realize that sex doesn’t fulfill all our needs, it must draw us to asking the question- what will provide that fulfillment? What is that “something more”? I believe there is no better explanation than the promises Jesus. The book of John records Jesus’ strong promise, “ I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” This promise reveals that a life lived with Jesus is that “something more” that we were created for. Another way Jesus could have stated it is “Without me the fullness of life cannot be had.” Although the “fullness” will not be fully realized until sin is completely stripped away, we must realize that our desires point to the day when our lives will be made complete. Perhaps, it is time to help one another see that pursuing the ultimate rush of sex is never-ending cycle of a promise unfulfilled (a promise to relieve and satisfy everything). Anyone who has had sex, or masturbated, knows that the satisfaction of that moment doesn’t last, and doesn’t indefinitely remove all our desires. God created sex and wants you to have great sex. His context of proper sex within the covenant of marriage is so that you can have the best and most fulfilling sex (I’ll address why marriage, and sex within marriage is so important to God in my next post). So let’s not buy into the cultural assumption that sex is the ultimate revelation of satisfaction. Instead, let’s thank God for creating us to really enjoy sex, and see it as an opportunity to reflect on the fact that we were made for more.
Also, for more in-depth reading on this topic I HIGHLY recommend the book “Divine Sex” by Jonathan Grant