The Frenemy of Motherhood
This weekend I spoke on the "Frenemy of motherhood- comparison." Comparison is a "friend" because it allows you to step on others to feel better about yourself, and it's an enemy because that same power to comparing down ends up comparing up, making you feel worse about "how much better they are." The reality is that either downward or upward comparison is a spiritual battle, is evil, and robs you of what God has called you to as a mom: To be an example of genuine faith, to teach your children about God, and to honor God with how you live. Moms, you've got a tough job that is selfless, continually giving, rarely thanked, and impactful beyond words. Thank you for your love and commitment to what Christ has called you to. Here is a poem I wrote to summarize the teaching and to encourage moms.
Snotty faces and unexplained tears
Smelly diapers and unreasoned fears
Waking up to change a wet sheet
Mud through the house because of dirty feet
"I want this", "no it’s mine"
Reassuring them, again, they’ll be fine
Then there’s the times they know better than you
You’re old, you’re out of touch, you just don’t share their view
"Mom I hate you", "it’s just so unfair"
At the end of the day you collapse in a chair
It’s only 8:30 but all you want to do is go to bed
But tonight, you sit and reflect on what you did and on what you said.
If today didn’t beat you down enough
Your memories bring up more and more frustrating stuff
The cancer of comparison slowly seeps into your heart
The lies that you’re not good enough pierce like a dart
“If only you were like that one friend who has the perfect house.
Her Insta pics are gorgeous and so is her spouse”
Her kids are always so well dressed, so perfectly behaved
Her makeup always beautiful, her legs always shaved
To silence the pain this type comparison tends to make
You tell yourself, “she’s got it easy, she’s really just a fake.”
STOP STOP STOP
The voice of comparison is evil and always wants more
Allowing it to speak will rip you to the core.
Instead listen to the voice of love, the voice of grace
The voice of God who is with you through this race.
He speaks softly, calling back to what is true
He calls you his beautiful amazing daughter, He delights in you.
Your dirty home and arguing kids don’t change His affection
He already made the sacrifice. His love is perfection
Yes there are probably improvements you need to get to
But let His love be the motivation of all you do.
See, it is a caring and patient God who wants to do the refining.
Fighting against the lie that Pinterest does the defining.
So let God speak your value, strengthening your soul
And kill comparison, letting HIS love keep your eye on the goal.